Every relationship is the way it is because of a dynamic that has been a pattern for years. An abuser would not be one if there was no subject to abuse. There is always a victim and an abuser. If you change one person in the relationship the dynamic can change. The more you free yourself from yourself, and your own prisons (guilt/ low self-esteem/ self criticism etc) the more you will free yourself from the bindings that others impose on you.